SOUL SHOCK

I’ve always been a music fanatic since I was a little kid. I listened to my first rap song when I was about five years old. I didn’t quite understand what they were saying but I did love the beat and how they presented their art. Growing up in Colorado, there isn’t a lot of hip-hop influence. My family is all into country, rock, and 80’s rock. Leave it to me to be the weird one to love rap. To my family, and many other Christian families, rap was and still is, considered to be “demon music”. So the more I dove into it and the more I understood it, the more I loved rap and hip-hop. When I figured out that I could write my own songs, I fell in love with it even more. I wrote my first song when I was about six or seven. When I turned ten, my parents got me a CD player, and my first CD was Toby Mac, Diverse City Remix. Now if you know anything about Toby Mac, its that he isn’t a rapper. He’s got a Contemporary, rock, RnB, hip-hop, feel to his music. Some are worship songs, some have rock, some with a hip-hop feel, others just got that RnB vibe coming off. However this didn’t make no difference to a ten year old Matthew. On this specific album, there was more hip-hop written into the album. This was still kind of the young T. Mac, and he was still big into the hip-hop like he was when he was with DC Talk. There was about five or six songs that had hip-hop in it, and that was enough for me, cuz I could listen to it and not hide it. I also snuck and listen to the “demon music”. I did it through PlayStation, because of games like, Madden, NBA LIVE, and MX vs TV, they had straight up rap and hip-hop songs on them. So thats where I “snuck” and listen to it. My parents liked Toby Mac because he’s a Christian. So he got their stamp of approval. My parents are just like any other good parents. They were really careful about what my sister and I were aloud to watch, listen, and say. Luckily for me I had my family there. I always had my mom, my dad, and my sister. I know what it means to have a good family. 

    I was raised in a Christian home, so I guess you could say I was born into Christianity. When I was a little kid they made me go to Church, but I never understood anything they were talking about. All I knew was, Jesus was my homie, and satan was my enemy. I thought I was a Christian because my parents said we were, although I never asked the Lord to forgive me for my sins, and I never accepted him as my Lord and Savior. It wasn’t till I was in Middle school and was in Youth Group when I found out that Jesus died for my sins, just because he loved me. When I found that out I was like, “ Wow” looking up at the ceiling of the Church, “ Thanks Jesus”. I still thought I was a Christian because I still thought I was born into it. Things started to change for me when we moved to Carpenter, Wyoming. In Colorado, we were involved in an amazing church, and I developed some good friends and mentors. When we moved to Wyoming, I didn’t have a single friend. Well, I had my dads entire family. There is seventy two members of the Martin family, and I’m pretty close with some of my cousins. However my real good friends, my mentors, I did not have any. We church searched for our first four months. We got involved and became members of Family Harvest Church. I still didn’t have anyone to take the position of my real good friends, and my mentors, but it was alright. I didn’t think I needed any. I still kept my faith. All through middle school and high school I thought I was a Christian, and tried living for the Lord, but I didn’t quite understand what it meant to be a Christian. I wouldn’t figure it out till after I graduated. 

    When I graduated, I fell into this deep depression over the summer. I realized that my dream of playing football in college and possibly in the NFL, was not going to come true. There was no way. Its what I’ve dreamed about since I was a little kid. I started playing football when I was about six or seven. I never went a fall where I didn’t play football and that coming fall, I wasn’t going to be playing anything, and I knew it. So I was trying to figure out how to handle this depression, and I know. Looking back, that was such a stupid thing to be depressed about, but it did mean a lot to me back then. During that summer I just started working at the new Walmart that was just about to have its grand opening.  When I started my cashier training, I found out my trainer was pretty cute. She asked for my number that night. We talked for three days, and we went to a park to hang out. I ended up loosing my purity that night. On the way home, I felt sick. I hated myself because I know what I did was wrong, and completely against God. I felt like I was the biggest screw up since Judas betrayed Jesus in the Garden. The whole drive home I just kept hearing this voice in my head tell me that I was a screw up.    “ You did it now Matt. There’s nothing you can do to have Jesus forgive you now.” Not only did I let my Lord down, but I let my parents down too. I begged and pleaded for the Lord to forgive me, but I didn’t feel like he had. I didn’t know what to do so I just burred all these feelings deep inside of me. Later in December my dad and I stayed up and talked about some pretty deep things. He told me that I wasn’t acting like the old me. He said that I seemed like I was mad all of the time, and I had beef with everyone I met. I told him that I felt like I let the Lord down big time. I didn’t tell him why, but I didn’t have too. My dads always been there to encourage, correct, and help guide me so I don’t make the same mistakes he did. That night my dad proved how much he had my back. My dad told me what kind of a God we serve, and that he has already forgiven me for everything I’ve done. That night, December 15th, at 2 O’Clock in the morning I asked the Lord to come into my heart and take control of my life. 

    Ive always loved writing songs. I never thought that I could do anything with my songs till about six years ago. I got a music program for my fifteenth birthday, and I tried producing my first song. Now I haven’t taken a music class since the fifth grade, and I didn’t know one thing on how to produce a song, but I gave it my best shot. After about two months of having the program, the lap top I was using crashed. I was a little upset but it was ok. At least my family was/is supportive of my music. My dad is a farmer in Wyoming now, and most farmers wouldn’t want there sons to rap. I was still writing songs. After I graduated in 2015, one of my best friends, Amy Fitch, who is my churches worship leader, asked if I wanted help with my music. So I stopped in at the church one Monday morning and she helped me understand how to produce and match my lyrics up with the beats I had. About a week later I recorded my first song ever. It was titled “Different”, and I think it is terrible. Luckily, I’ve gotten better. At least I like to think so. I recorded that song the June of 2016, and that was the start of your boy, Soul Shock.